that's where my demons hide

hey, you
the one with the very beautiful hands
i owe you an apology.
i made a mistake.
i don't regret you
i'm not broken hearted
i'm not angry
just you know sometimes the whatifs sting
i owe you an apology
and i owe myself one
cause the space between me and my lover has been sacred
and i fell too low this time
i couldn't draw a line between 'open minded' and 'easy'
i remember my look at you watching you sleep when we first met
and i remember your look at me when we last met
i feel like i owe you something
maybe i owe you my feelings
cause you've always been something more
and i've always been something less
cause i never let you know that you were something more
and i've constantly turned myself into something less
i've turned the space between us from sacred to vulgar
so i could never ask to be your something more
not anymore
it's been an educational border-crossing
now i know what's 'too low'
i don't really owe you an apology
cause i didn't promise you anything anyway
but i really owe myself one
cause i felt like your wife
but i acted like your whore