my head's under water, but i'm breathing fine

a guy on the train is talking to himself in some distant land's language
he doesn't seem crazy in spite of the persistance of his speech
i don't understand him but he is reciting a poem
it looks like he is reciting a poem to the foggy view of the river outside
another guy is giving a speech to the whole train he looks like he is acting on stage
except that he is not
he is the actual personage that the actors immitate
the original
I am rereading 'the road' and i'm like
maan, that's some rookie hitchhiking there
i have better stories to tell
one of these days i should start writing thought i don't feel any more experienced or mature
the only thing i've learned being a grown up is that grown ups don't know shit about shit not a single little shit
not a single person
but it doesn't really matter anyway
one of the dreams i have every once in a while for years is that
i am drowning and just as i can't hold my breath any longer and breath in the water and wait to die,
i realize that i don't need air
and i just keep swimming and swimming,
and it's peaceful and everything is just fine
that's the only love song that makes sense these days anyway