coming home has never felt so wrong
it's like waking up from a long dream to a life i don't belong to
it does feel like home
everything is familiar and warm indeed
but it feels so wrong

i only miss the past when the present is not good enough
so i have to keep it up
to outrun the pain
to do better every day
that's actually what growing old is -
the present getting less than the past
till the future disappears and there is only past to live with
and you spend your present holding on to the past

it's an addiction you know
more
more more
more
more
life itself is an addiction
what you had today is never enough tomorrow
you'd do anything to keep it going
or you'd fall
you will have a single best moment in your life
from there on
it's down
down