you say jump
but 'every time i hear the word love, i think going, going..'
when you tell me you love me
i hang up cause i cannot speak through my tears
i am nothing but terrified
you are perfect
this time you really are
it's not my mind playing me
but still i can only see going
going
you give me freelove
but it's my love that is dragging me down
i tell you
if i was wise enough
i would run
run very far away from your perfect hands and your devilish smile
but i am not that strong so
'here I am, a rabbit hearted girl, frozen in the headlights'
i will blame you at the end and you know it
you are so brave and naive, my boy
i love it and you make me wanna jump too

there is this huge colorful storm in my head
i'm spinning in the middle and
after a while everything reminds me of everything
and everyone looks like everyone
your hands are his hands
and you are holding your cigarette exactly the same way he does
everybody is a deja-vu
this room is a copy of another one a thousand kilometers from here
and this very minute is a copy of another one lived months ago
and another one lived years ago
the second you put your beer down i can see
a hundred people putting their beer down in my memories
i've listened to this song so many times but i don't know when and where
everything is a deja-vu
you laugh exactly like someone else once did but i don't remember who
your perfume smells familiar
and when i close my eyes i am not sure who i am kissing
or who is kissing you
yes, after a while i stop seeing them and i see only
you
you
you
but do i really?

i realized i don't realize
how dangerously i play with my feelings
living so fast i can feel the g-force
loving on a tightrope
where less is not enough so i stretch it higher and higher up in the sky
if i step down i die
if i fall i die
i feel i am getting closer
so i close my eyes and
walk
love
live
not really knowing how far the ground is
i rush for the high
in my color tornado
my head spinning
spinning faster

maybe

it all started that night we slept among tea fields
at the end of the world
and at the end of our senses
freezing under moist blankets in front of the fire
i wasn't impressed the first time i saw you
you weren't a maybe
till you were
till i dreamt about loving you that night
and woke up to your smile all different
i get high on your philosophies
the only lost wars i can not get over are the ones i still believe are not wars
there is an exact moment i realize
life is all exaggerations
of our own private realities
at that moment i am not afraid of exaggerating you
right now there is no magic greater than your honey eyes watching the road
we are a monologue inside my head
and who is to say we are not real
i've been looking for someone who is exactly like me
but then they would be an unpredictable unreliable liar
i love the way you don't love me
i want us to be free before anything
i don't need you to need me
i just want to swim in your hair
and to get lost between your eyelashes
the only times i am afraid of loving you
is when i am afraid of losing you
is when i am afraid of losing myself
falling in love after all is 'falling' and i can't afford losing control
slipping is a death sentence when my heart stands on a balance scale

there was nowhere to go but everywhere

i'm forever fascinated by the road ahead
you say life is an exam, a purgatory
but you can't possibly convince me
that heaven has anything to offer more beautiful than what i have here
you say earthly emotions are sinful
but you can't possibly convince me
that there is anything more sacred than what i feel with my five senses
i am embracing the sky as my back touches the asphalt
and i become one with the black road and the wind
the rain is cold but i'm not afraid
i'm nothing but excited to embrace it too
to feel it run down my skin
i can't help to throw my arms in the air
and sing, yell, laugh
i only take what the world has to offer and pray
i pray by laughing, crying, running, eating, drinking, making love
that's my way of talking to god and it's sacred
you say: be moderate
i say: be mad!
demand life
dig the happiness from inside the earth, from inside yourself, pull it out and wear it proudly on your shoulders
don't be moderate
overreact
overdo
overwork
overlaugh
overlove
overlove!
i'm forever fascinated by the unknown, by the spontaneity of life
it's all a big beautiful dream and you don't have to have it all planned
just embrace the road
and don't yawn
never yawn

coming home has never felt so wrong
it's like waking up from a long dream to a life i don't belong to
it does feel like home
everything is familiar and warm indeed
but it feels so wrong

i only miss the past when the present is not good enough
so i have to keep it up
to outrun the pain
to do better every day
that's actually what growing old is -
the present getting less than the past
till the future disappears and there is only past to live with
and you spend your present holding on to the past

it's an addiction you know
more
more more
more
more
life itself is an addiction
what you had today is never enough tomorrow
you'd do anything to keep it going
or you'd fall
you will have a single best moment in your life
from there on
it's down
down

....she got a lot of pretty, pretty boys she calls friends

i don't fall in love with my men
i fall in love with their hands
with their bracelets
with their colors
with their eyes watching the road ahead
silently
i think i've found a new way to love
i've found a new way to embrace
it took me so long to find the passion i feel in my dreams
but now i have
these days i've fallen in love so many times
but managed to stay free in my mind
life is beautiful
and it gets better
i promise
there are so many people to love out there
colors
so many colors
i look in your eyes and see explosions
no expectations
we share our colors
and i can feel myself change
and learn
and i love all of you
i fall in love with every single one of you
i want to spend a lifetime with every single one of you
and i actually do
spend a lifetime
in the split second when our eyes meet
and then
explosions

dreams are stronger than reality
i dreamt about you hugging me
your arms on my shoulders
i can still feel the touch of your unreal skin
and your unreal kiss
and my unreal love
nothing is real
it isn't you
you have to know that it isn't you
and if i fall for you it doesn't have anything to do with you
if i fall for you it would be just my mind seeking and creating unrealities

i found out for myself that i can only truly love a traveler
a hitchhiker
a kerouac
someone who loves life and freedom at least as much as me
i fell in love with you in my dream
the games my mind plays
but maybe.